do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
