dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
MIDGETS
????
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
