Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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