when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
