I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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