Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize