why didn't you poke me back
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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