If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize