Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize