you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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