her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
