Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Randomize
