When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
