So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
you would pick up someone in the library
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
