I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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