Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
