it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize