This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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