you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
