Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
