i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
