I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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