You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
