NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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