she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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