he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
