Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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