Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
He kissed a someone with a penis
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize