I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Randomize