I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
