Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Randomize
