Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Randomize
