Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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