Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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