i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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