...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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