After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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