I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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