why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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