from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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