to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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