party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
