Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
