Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
