Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
