i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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