garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The feeling are messing with the penis
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
