ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
