My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
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