so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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