It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
