Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
The dick lei will go down in squad history
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
