Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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