I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize