Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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