any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
