party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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