When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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