i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
