Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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