go do what you do best...puke behind churches
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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